my fear... -- 12:27 AM; Friday, November 25, 2005
honestly.. i've been thinking about my bday.. its on the 26th december.. and tsunami is on that day.. are people going to mourn on that day??

so sad for me that my bday had tsunami.. i still remembered last year.. how was my bday was celebrated by my group of frens.. it was brought forward... honestly that time.. i appreciate wad they did.. but somehow.. i dun feel happy.. instead... i feel very weird and kinda disappointed.. but somehow.. i managed to put a smile on my face and try to ignore how i feel... so obviously.. on the day of my bday.. no one asked me out.. i was really bored.. i was feeling rather down.. cos.. no one seemed to remember and even acknowledge my existence that time..just somehow.. i was really sad.. huiyin wasnt around.. she went msia that time.. louie had post christmas party on that day.. and.. u may ask.. wad abt the otherS?? yah.. imthinking too.. wad abt them..?

i've been treating some frens out on my bday since sec 1.. and last year i din.. were they expecting that?? maybe they were expecting that.. maybe they thot that they haf celebrated my bday and had done their part? maybe... there are many possibilities... =_= some how.. i dun wan this to happen this year.. REALLY.. i dun wan history to repeat itself... again... my ex class de chalet is on 19th to 21st and i noe n im expecting that.. they will celebrate for me.. as that is so common these days... again.. i will be sharing wif valentino.. honestly.. i dun like sharing bdays wif others.. =_= n honestly.. i dun remember that there is a cake.. mayb there is..just that it doesnt ring a bell in my head..

but however.. there are a few frens that asked me out on my bday last year.. surprisingly.. they were all girls.. so went out wid them n walked around... simply just walking... that really leaves an impression.. haa.. =_=

i dun wan history to repeat itself again... i've been thinking and thinking for a few days already.. and i dun wan to land in that state again...

it can be real sad.. i hate being alone.. i hate it..

[im living in my own world.. my own dreams..]

eNd