-- 11:05 PM; Tuesday, March 28, 2006
firstly, it's weird to communicate thru tagboard with someone you don't know. haha.. weird... =_=

anyway, i got back my math and physics. my results sucked. i got an E for F math and a damn lousy A for C math. FUCK. i sucked totally. my c math, 13 marks were gone due to carelessness, and i'm not being proud here, if i were to get all those 13 marks, i'm the highest in the entire level, perhaps, i might even think of continuing my S paper. Now, i'm so screwed up, i am now sure that i want to drop S paper. i got 59 for my physics. FU*K, my results really sucked. REALLY. i couldn't believe that i actually scored 59. i should have done alot better than that! i lost many points through definitions, carelessness, 2 points for significant figures, 1 point for units. i was utterly shocked getting such results. now, i can tell that i'm not going to do well for my economics. i'm so screwed up for this block test.

damn, i never realise how poorly i could score. this is one failure that i faced now. i find it hard to pick myself up again. such a failure is... i mean, i did not have such a problem before. yea, was told to move on.

my face is black nowadays, partly due to the tan i had on sunday at sentosa. BUT, i did not realise i was giving that type of face. hmmm.... black face isn't for me. i know i'm cheerful. perhaps, i showed to much "smilies" to people everyday. perhaps, i smile too much and people don't realise that i will meet setbacks and be sad too.

black face is with me these few days. do bear with it, i just had a rough and unpleasant journey ever since the start of school.

hmmm.. i actually told myself not to hang around with my classmates. 3 C, quoted from Irene, Care, Concern and Compassion. lol. my classmates don't really show that to me. i was left all alone. and i actually faced such setbacks alone. so much for "you fu tong xiang, you nan tong dang" slowly picking up the pieces by myself. i don't really share the things i have in mind with anybody now. i keep ALMOST everything to myself. i don't think there's really such a need to let them know.

well, the only closest and best friends i have is huiyin and louie. they are always there. =D i'm so blessed. haha.. i can share anything with them.

oh ya, there is this topic i wanted to share in my blog. the topic of being left out in class. although i told myself not to hang around with my classmates, but it is still hard to accomplish it. so, i still hang around with them. i realised a few points:
-they don't listen to what i have to say
-they sometimes ignore my presence
-they don't really care
-they often "suan" me making feel like i'm detested by them
-they don't really respect how i feel

and the word "they" here meant some of them. not all my classmates does that to me. in fact, i'm refering to the usual group i hang out with.

sigh

eNd