-- 11:47 AM; Thursday, November 12, 2009
i've been sleep talking and doing ridiculous things when im asleep!
i wonder what is wrong with me.

-- 12:49 AM; Monday, November 09, 2009
exams are around the corner.

My exciting encounter at work. -- 2:20 AM; Thursday, June 18, 2009
I cannot believe that INDIAN MAN actually has the cheek to complain when it was him who was in the wrong. I'm just doing my job.

It happens like this.

This bugger here, came up to me to ask for extra time to play in the futsal court. Well, as kind as I am, i had already given them extra 15 minutes to compensate for starting a little late. (Where they started like 5 minutes late?!) So they came up to the office demanding for extra time. This is how the conversation goes. It wasn't exactly as it is, but the content is there. There are some words he said to me that left a huge impression on me which i actually remembered the whole sentence/phrase. I will highlight them in red.

Indian Man: Hey boy, so fast end ah, can extend anot?

Me: Oh, I'm sorry, you have to pay to play in the court.

Indian Man: We started late leh, can let us play a little longer?

Me: Sorry, no. (I smiled) I have already let you play in the court for extra 15 minutes. The time is already up. So do you wish to extend your court hours?

Indian Man: huhhhhh.... Come on lah, be flexible. Half an hour more can?

Me: (Thinking, half an hour more would mean 45 minutes later, fuck, why don't u just pay for that one more hour.) I'm sorry sir, ( i cannot believe i called that fucker, SIR) i've already let u play for extra 15 minutes, so my answer is no.

Indian Man: be flexible lah, i member here so long already.

Me: If every member comes up and tell me this, this company will make a huge loss. so still no.

Indian Man: C'mon lah, be flexible, last week the other guy also allow me play extra. since no one using, let me play awhile longer lah.

Me: No. No pay no play.

Indian Man: be flexible lah.

And he kept going on about me having to be flexible with him to allow him to play for free about 3 minutes, and as persistent and "stubborn" which he used to describe me in the complaint letter, as i can be, i insisted on the answer, "NO" Until to the point, i can't take his nonsense i simply said,

"I don't need someone like YOU to teach me how and when to be flexible."

He exploded.

He asked for my name. He insulted my name.

"your name isn't some ronaldo that i should remember. write down ur name on a paper and give me."

"i'm not ur slave to do that for you."

"is this the type of customer service u give me."

"to you yes, to the rest no."

then he proceeded to acting like some dumb fuck who don't know how to pronounce my name. if he knows soccer, he should know rafael benitez and tennis, rafael nadal. just that my spelling was ph instead of f.

well, i'm lazy to type everything out. the part where disturbs me the most is....

Indian Man: You don't have the balls to tell me ur name issit?

Me: I have two balls inside my pants.

Indian Man: SHOW ME!

Immediately after that, I shut the glass window.

Before he asked me to show him my balls, he was getting all vulgar at me. Hurling vulgarities at me like it was free. Surprisingly, i didn't use vulgarities on him. i remain calm and conquered this situation by smiling back at him which in turn make him more frustrated.

Well, i ended up calling the police. the police made this case as a dispute case, which i thought was ridiculous. i should have scolded that bloody indian before the police comes and COME UP WITH SOME FAKE STORY WHICH MAKES ME LOOK LIKE SOME ANGEL THAT HAS FALLEN FROM THE SKY.

FOR GOODNESS SAKE. he asked me to show him my balls. and in the complaint letter, he said i want to show him my balls. in fact, whatever he wrote in the mail was an insult to me, an insult to my character.

anyway, he demanded an apology to him from me. (i was like WTF)

in the first place, he was wrong. how i wish i could post up the complaint letter here. i know its unprofessional to do it.

FUCK THESE INDIANS WHO GAVE ME SUCH PROBLEMS. he compared myself to him and called me a lowlife who is SLAVING MY ASS OFF in the office while he's outside playing.

FUCK HIM.

we are all equal irregardless of what we are doing. you fucker, should know ur status. you fucker should know that, YOU are not high and mighty. i know this sounds racist, BUT, just because you are an indian, doesn't mean you are superior to chinese. I'm not saying that the Chinese are superior, but rather, we are all equal!!!!

AW MAN. Singapore is such a peaceful country where all races are living in harmony, while some of the people here are actually trying to disturb the peace here by hurling harmful comments.

DAMMIT.

Time flies -- 8:48 PM; Tuesday, June 02, 2009
It's been more than a year i've last updated this blog. Time really flies. The previous post was an overseas trip with my platoon mates, a blink of an eye, I'm already out of army.

For more than a year, nothing was penned down in this blog. I thought, I should start again.

Army was a chaotic life for me, I don't want to re-visit those memories in my unit. I shall start with one day before I am officially out of army.

That day was a great day. I got my driving license at the first try. After which, I spent almost 2 weeks looking for a job outside. I landed on a job which requires a very thick skin - direct sales. I hated that job. It is a tough job, I had to convince people to buy my promotional packages from me. I left that job eventually. I felt guilty for selling such things to people, it may be a good deal, however, I didn't feel all that great about it. It is a 6-day work week job. I had to give up going to the beach which I used to go every Saturday. The pay "might" have sounded quite alot, but in actual fact, I thought I was paid lousily. People convincing me not to quit because they are looking after their own interests. These people have an ulterior motive, and I know they are not sincere at all. Finally, I quit.

Then, I went to look for another job. After 2-3 days, I managed to get another job which I am currently in now. Not that fantastic either, but at the very least, it is SO much better than my previous job. I'm doing something mundane everyday. Working on every Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday, it just suddenly dawned upon me that I should have extended my service in the army. At least, I'm getting a MUCH better pay and I need not burn my weekends except for duties. Finally, I'm quitting this job.

Whatever I am doing here, does anyone care?

Some things are not done properly here. When some things went haywire, myself and some others are left behind to solve it. The ones up there are not really handling it. When I was an officer, did I actually do such things to my clerks? Sometimes, I really wonder, did I or did I not? And if I did, I can actually understand how they feel.

Darn. I need to look for a job now.

I just took part in the Adidas Sundown Marathon. This was the note I type in facebook.

Having to take part in the Adidas Sundown Marathon is something that i never thought i will do. It certainly feels good right after completing this 42km run. i had a great sense of satisfaction and relief upon completion. Though I'm aching all over, suffering from abrasions in between my thighs (which got the attention of girls throwing me dirty looks when i walk, being teased at by my classmates and colleagues at work) I am glad that I took part in this run.

This run is like having a battle within yourself - giving up or to continue. I had no intention of completing this run at a certain timing, but rather, my goal was to finish it.

From the start, my friends and i were running together. Up till a certain point, we decided to run at our own pace. Wenjin took off first, where i had to take a leak at the first aid point. Daniel then over took Clarence and myself. After which, we overtook Daniel. Daniel was the one who surprised me the most. He, somehow twisted his butt cheeks (alright, it's butt muscles) and hence, was unable to run. It was near 10km when he started walking all the way to the end point. (which is 32km later)

My impression of Daniel has always been one who will seek the easy way out, look for the quickest possible way to get out of trouble or simply, just give up. However, right after this run, i realised i was wrong. Despite getting "injured" (which i don't really know and understand how) he persevered all the way thinking of completing this run before the sun rises. Although he failed, at least he completed the 42km. I thought we will find him at the medical posts at the end point. At least, that's what Wenjin and Clarence thought as well. A slap right in the face - Daniel ain't a weakling.I can't actually believe that i finished this 42 km. i ran for the first 25km and after that, my legs cant carry me any longer. i had to walk. At that point in time, i was feeling all down and demoralised.

"what the fuck am i doing here?"
"what did i get myself into this time?"
"i should just give up!"
"why the fuck did i pay 60 bucks to torture myself!?"

that was the type of mentality i was having in my mind. a debate was going on in my mind. Every Kilometre seems further each time. Everytime i see a 1 km mark, it just dawned upon me that i have THAT MANY kilometres to go. it was a terrible experience. at this 25th km, my cuff muscles are on the verge of cramping, my soles, i feel like they are being poked by thousands and thousands of needles. Every step i took, it is awfully painful. the moment i start to jog, my cuffs almost cramp and that left me no choice but to walk. my thighs and my armpits are starting to feel the pain, i can feel the abrasion that im having between my thighs. i had to walk like a duck, raise my hand a little higher to prevent the rubbing of my arm against my top. i feel like a weirdo walking at 3plus am. Tired, exasperated, lonely, i wished my other friends could catch up on me and accompany me to walk. Walking alone in THAT condition, is definitely a challenge - a situation that i don't want to encounter. i have to constantly motivate myself to move forward.

i started singing in my mind. this song was repeatedly played in my mind, "No Boundaries" It was this song that kept me motivated for a while. I had to do things to entertain myself. One thing which really defines who i am. I saw flashes of camera, i moved out of the crowd, get a prominent spot, act strong, once the camera flashes, my job is done. i continued to walk. it was fun entertaining myself this way. i saw interesting people along the way - an auntie, with white hair, afro hairstyle, dressed up in all black, with white lights all over her top, was running 42km. she was like a bunch shining stars running the 42km. after which, i heard some guy, singing a canto song loudly. i met zhen hui at one of the turning points and there she was shouting, "Raphael! You damn slow leh! Hurry finish can!" Too tired to respond to her, i merely showed her the bye bye hand sign. I met zhiyuan while running also, was surprised to see that he maintained his fitness. The whole time when i was walking, i was hoping to see someone i know so that he/she could talk/walk with me when he/she is tired. But to no avail.

After a while, i started to pace. (Yes, army, pacing to predict how much distance that i have covered) I started to do mental calculations to estimate how many steps i need to take to make a 100m. i did this for several kilometres. it was interesting, towards the end, my pacing was good, i managed to hit 1km almost accurately. During the last 3km, i met Cpt Goh, my PC in ocs. well, he's having a hard time too. We're basically walking together to the next water point. he did some stretching at that point while i carried on to prevent the breaking of my momentum. Until towards the last kilometre, i started to run. I had enough rest (all the way from 25km to 41km, that's a total of 16km that i've managed to walk) and i told myself to finish the last stretch. the sooner i finish, the sooner i get to rest proper. i then picked up my pace and start to overtake people. one by one, step by step, i got closer to the finishing point.

then, it struck me. i was suddenly all motivated.

I saw a cameraman at the finishing line.I told myself, to look strong and be at my best when i cross the finishing line. I gave it my all to finish the race.

It was quite an awesome experience, experiencing many different types of emotions along the race, and i am glad, i did this when i'm still fit enough. Being able to finish this race is common, however, being able to take up this challenge, is not what everyone can do.

In future, whether will i take part in marathons again? i will carefully consider, it is tormenting.

This was titled as "The pain and torture i had put myself through"

I am certainly recovering from my abrasions already. I feel great!

However, the atmosphere in the office for the past 2 days has been disturbing. I wonder, what went wrong.

-end-

-- 6:55 AM; Thursday, January 31, 2008
just had a 3km run in vest slack..

im tired.

skipping breakfast..

no mood to eat.

eNd

-- 1:32 AM; Tuesday, January 29, 2008
i'm back!

and yes, i arrived in singapore on the 27th morning 2 am. photobucket is really slow, and this explains why i'm only updating my blog only today.i finally managed to finish uploading the pictures that i wanted to post. anyway, my trip is thailand is pretty much interesting; met a few trannies here and there and of course, JENNY, the canteen's tranny - everybody's favourite. as if. she totally disgusts me, especially when she tries to flirt with me and my friend. the tone that she use, eewww.

let's have a change of topic.

it's been quite a pleasant trip to thailand, from the day i left singapore to the day i reach singapore. we took several pictures here and there and in total, i shot 700 pictures, and yes, im crazy. the weather in thailand is extreme. when it comes to hot, it's really damn hot, when it comes to cold, it's really cold. other than that, i think thailand is fine. something thailand has but not singapore is the sky. it's really clear at night where one can see many stars, as there are no clouds at all. yup, i saw many shooting stars when i was in the field. i did write my journal when i was in thailand, but i am lazy to copy everything here.

anyway, here goes, the pictures..



the day i left singapore, taken in changi airport.



while waiting for my flight, and that's errol.



still waiting....



and this was taken in thailand's airport, and that's darren, my BMT platoon mate. he's quite unlucky to be transferred to the other wing - the *censored* one.



we reach the destination, and a few of us had to take pictures, passport size picture.



this is tekong, from the above.



jacob is always awaiting for my camera to snap.



jacob, once again, he's posing for the camera...



another one



act seh!!



and that's weiyang.



my platoon 2..



shihan, as nonsensical as ever - right smack in the middle..



another one..



huixiang's turn..



and my turn to be nonsensical..



that's mark lee! haha.. he looks like mark lee, we call him LTA MO (peng)



Ali, the muslim who doesn't act like muslim..



acting to be busy with the map..



jacob AGAIN, this time, i asked him to pose a CUTE picture, but he refused...



NICE



Shadows of me and jacob



jacob, huixiang and sengkiak acting cool...



celebrated wing com's birthday at the canteen.



and this is the end of frame dinner, my table.



platoon 2 again



my section 3



and the Sierra crossovers of platoon 2



each of us had nicknames attached to our polo t shirts, this is BREAD PITT



and the smurf! he's really not tall, i'm taller than him by a head, so imagine, how not tall is he..

the end of frame dinner marks the end of our training in thailand, in other words, R&R is starting. we get to enjoy ourselves outisde camp, but the fun is limited. it wasn't as great as the one in brunei.

the visit to the zoo was fun, but the rest was quite boring.



the zoo, we sat in buses so that we could feed the animals, we're quite lucky as only a handful could sit in the smaller buses to feed the animals.



SMILE



that black patch there is the sunbear. it's still sleeping, i was hoping that it was awake so that i could take a better shot of it.



the tiger, the moment we came here, all of us pull down the windows almost immediately.



the lion, as we pass by this lion, there was a lot of mumbling at the back and they are talking about how big the lion's balls are and how it dangles.


BUFFALO! it actually STINKS!!



and people are happily feeding it..



the dear is MENG, we didn't want to feed it and its head just pop in like that.



the giraffe is real funny, it keeps drooling and drooling, dirtying huixiang and qianxiang's seat.



its head just came into the bus without warning..



munch munch..



the zebra, it has ugly teeth..



feeding the zebras..



COOL! those are real tigers, they are tame.



lunch with wing com



just some random shots..



it's a railway!





lunch on the second day really sucked..



look at the surroundings, how miserable can it get.



eat eat eat eat eat....



clement's sexy legs.



Jacob and i



ah beng bus 1



ah beng bus 2



CANDID



the floating market



another picture of this market..



i secretly took their picture without them knowing.. haha..



Kachou and towwee...



we're on our way for dinner..



dinner was at whale hotel.. it's far much better than the meals we had so far there..



at the airport in thailand, we're so glad that we're going back home..

on the whole, the trip is quite interesting. at the very least, we're not training everyday. we had our fair share of fun and laughter as well. hmmm.. it's time to end here..

eNd